Code Brown, I say again, Code Brown

Ever find yourself confronted with someone covered in their own excrement? Come on, no "you can't believe what happened when I fed little Johnny strained peas" stories. I mean a "fully functioning adult, half naked, covered in his or her own fecal matter. Didn't think so. But I guess from here you can guess where my night is headed.

I guess that's why I chuckle when I see a new "reality" show on television. Undoubtedly the most contrived nonsense ever to hit the airways. I truly wonder how many Paramedics and Nurses would have chosen a much different career had there been but one episode depicting what this business is really all about. How about, Emergency? Johnny and Roy respond to the aftermath of the 1974 greater Los Angeles Chili Cook Off. Or maybe Third Watch. We could give a riveting teleplay for Soho Salmonella.

So next time you are sitting in your boring office cubicle watching "on demand" versions of your favorite show pining for a more exciting career, try to picture that gorgeous actor/actress with the days oral intake magically dripping down their legs. It will give you a reality that will redefine Must Watch TV.

And for goodness sake guys......more fiber.....please.