Thursday, April 30, 2009

Band Aid?

I have carried a social stigma for a great many years. In those formative years of high school where your position on the scale of relative school dictated your everyday life I rarely registered a blip on the radar. Not being the sports type I did not fit in with the jocks. Since school work was not the first thing on my mind the Academics were not the circle in which I travelled. Horrifyingly, as I had some musical ability I was a band guy. Some thirty years hence I still get some heat when some budding detective gets their hands on my old high school year book. For all of you with similar social skeletons in your closet you have been redeemed. From today's I give you the head line CALIFORNIA HIGH SCHOOL MARCHING BAND MEMBER FENDS OFF MUGGERS WITH BATON! Imagine the damage I could have done with this....

Sometimes I am just at a loss for words

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

How do you like your Kool Aid?

Like a slinking rat scurrying down the mooring lines of a sinking ship Arlen Specter announced today that he is switching his allegiance to the Democratic Party. Seen by some analysts as the only way the 79 year old five term Senator has a prayer of being reelected in the Keystone State Specter has clearly put his chips on Obama and his performance to guarantee him another six year term tugging on the government tit.

In some ways I found this news to be upsetting. With Franken leading the recount in Minnesota it is likely that the Party of Death and Taxes will enjoy a veto proof majority until the rest of the country comes to its senses in the next election cycle.

Sadly it looks like we will have to be patient and let them burn the forest of liberty to the ground before people realize that there has been a tremendous scam pulled on the electorate. However, just like in the aftermath of a real fire even though the forest floor is littered with the charred remnants of beauty and the carcasses of free wildlife know that even in those most horrifying of circumstances there are a few tender shoots pushing through the debris struggling to live and renew what once was. In this instance a great republic.

Better to know now that his is a turncoat opportunist rather than have another wishy washy conservative posing as the standard bearer of the party.

Friday, April 24, 2009

A musical interlude

Pagliacci and Government Regulation

Today from

A circus has saddened a clown after telling him he could no longer wear giant, floppy shoes due to health and safety concerns.

The circus' safety adviser, Larry Dewitt made the ruling after clown Valerik Kashkin fell 9-feet and broke his foot during a tight-rope act at a show in Liverpool, England.

He was told that his wacky size 18 shoes violated the circus' insurance policy. Kashkin said the ruling is unjustified.

Whole story at the link.

More Job Security

Thanks to the Cambodian for forwarding this via email.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Lunch with Chris Christie

I have never been at ease when it comes to direct involvement in politics. Don’t get me wrong, during a national election I am usually the first person in the neighborhood to put my candidates sign on the front lawn. But I can honestly say I have never been part of any party apparatus or involved in any grassroots political cause. As of today, that is about to change.

Out of the blue my union president called me the other afternoon to invite me to a little luncheon gathering at one of our local diners. The presumptive Republican Gubernatorial nominee former US Attorney Chris Christie was coming to town and wanted to have a skull session with some local cops. While I would normally eschew such a gathering I was moved to attend knowing a) what a mess our current Governor has made of the State and b) what I had learned about Mr. Christie in the last few weeks on the lead up to the primary season. Curious but full of low expectation I went.

The meeting was held in the main dining room of the Peter Pank diner a long time local Route 9 haunt where the proprietor Alex Panko must take the blame for at least a small percentage of my girth. We were met by two of Mr. Christie’s campaign staff who were highly organized and on top of their game. Mr. Christie was on time (an oddity for a man on the campaign trail) and got right down to business.

I have personally met a good number of office seekers over the years. Regrettably I have often walked away with the feeling that I needed a good hot shower to recover from the event. In this case the feeling was quite opposite. Had I picked up enough ribs at the local grocer earlier I would have had him and his staff over for dinner tonight.

He was genuine, honest and was able to look me dead in the eye without making my skin crawl. While I am sure he had a good deal of stops left to make he took the time to let us all say our peace even when it became abundantly clear that we had run well beyond the time where his staff would have liked him to be back on the road. Engaging with a good grasp of what ails New Jersey and with real answers to real problems. I will be candid in that I was not happy with all that he had to say. Like I said, he had answers to all of our questions…..sometimes the answer was no. But the no came with an understandable and reasoned explanation. It was refreshing to be talked to as an adult and not some petulant child which more and more is the common form of address used by those entrenched in the circles of power in Trenton.

What makes it easy to like Chris Christie is that he has taken a lot of the same lumps as the rest of us. While perhaps he has not waded in to a raging bar fight at three in the morning out numbered and ill equipped he has fought the good fight as US Attorney. He knows law enforcement and has a respect for those of us on the lower end of the Criminal Justice food chain. And he honestly has a lot of the same problems (e.g. paying Catholic School tuition in the face of out of control local school taxes). It was refreshing to hash out the dilemmas facing our beloved state in a comfortable argot.

In a way I pity Mr. Christie. I am sure that he will become the next Governor of the State of New Jersey. But he will inherit a hot steaming pile of a mess that has been festering in the Trenton sun since time and memorial. I know he will be able to do the job to make New Jersey well again. I just hope that we are all going to be strong enough to choke down the medicine that is going to cure its ills. It was an honor and privilege to have met him and I will be proud to support his candidacy.

You can learn more about the man and his platform at the link.

NB: Apoligies for the quality of the photo. I had to use my cellphone.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009



CENTERVILLE — A teenager suspected of car burglary was so surprised when he opened a car door to find a police officer sitting inside that he messed his pants, police said.

In the interest of helping to avoid stigmatizing this youthful offender might I suggest the following as therapy.

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Can somone take the cover off the pool?

WARNING! Self indulgent pictures of my dog. If you are a cat lover look away now. In fact, go to the nearest highway, put a burlap sack over your head and attempt to cross the street.

YEAH! Its finally seventy degrees!

Blowing Bubbles.

Anyone see that Salmon?
What a workout!

Pass the Kleenex

Seen at right courtesy of a Fox News photo is the Somali pirate Abdiwali Abdiqadir Muse on his arrival in NY City. Looking like he was was walking the red carpet at an award show the coward smiled like a basic celbutard. In fact the only missing item from the ensemble was a micro dog in an over sized handbag. Apparently during his court appearance today his mood became a bit more somber as the US Magistrate bound him over for trial after determining that he is not a juvenile and would be tried as an adult. Described by some outlets as a teen, the pirate is facing a lengthy prison sentence on charges of piracy and hostage taking. Apparently the absence of his AK 47 made him feel a bit less optimistic. He cried. ( cue violin music please).

In a related story, the subjects Mommy has already appealed to President Obama for pardon as she felt that the poor misguided youth had been mislead by "gangsters with money". She requested that she be able to spend time with her son during his trial. Why not? Go right on over to the Mogadishu International Airport, whip out your Somalian Express card and book a flight. I am sure our new administration will be most accommodating. I just hope the poor women takes care in traversing her capitol city. I wouldn't want her to trip over the burnt out fuselage of a Blackhawk Helicopter or the body of a brave American GI that might have been left there by the last Democratic Administration.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Food Break

Working in the rain is unpleasant. Knocking all around the state while you are doing it makes it even worse. But nothing will bring a ray of sunshine to an otherwise dreary day like a new place to eat. Sometimes all it takes is a nice grilled hot dog with fried onions. Kudos to the Galloping Hill Inn on five points in Union, NJ. Now if I could only find a high nitrate weight loss program I would be set.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

USS Stockdale

As I mentioned in a previous post my friend the NAD was at the commissioning of this new warship. As I only had crappy Facebook pictures available when I made that post, here are some good quality shots he took while at the ceremony. And yes, that is Ross Perot.

Chant on the road

So there we were. The Maestro, the entire Saint Mary's Choir and of course the capable and expanding Schola Cantorum. As this was the first trip I had ever made to our Diocesan Cathedral it was kind of neat. A Pre Council Church that hasn't been completely liturgically vandalized. Rocking pipe organ and a really great Divine Mercy Sunday Mass. The Chaplet was sung and in addition to the choir it seemed that everyone in the pews was singing along. It was packed.
Father Jack Grimes from my home Parish was the celebrant and homilist. It is always a pleasure to hear him preach. All of that and Latin Chant in the Cathedral. All in all a fairly nice way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

After Mass......a bit of yardwork

Vatican 5 0

The Nad

While my talents are very limited I am honored to have many talented friends. Whether its woodworking, gardening or assembling super computers I am always amazed when someone truly masters a skill simply for its inherent joy. What a special feeling that must be. My old friend the NAD (short for gonad....don't ask) is something of an accomplished photographer. While he is currently mastering digital photography I can tell you this is no flash in the pan thing for him. I can remember sitting in his parents house over thirty years ago as he would browse through boxes of color 35mm slides like a fat guy picking through a box of Godiva Chocolate looking for the most precious morsel to sample. Its stuck with him for all of these years and its a pleasure to share in his passion if only vicariously. Most recently his Nadship was at the commissioning of the new USS Stockdale.

How cool is that? (sorry about the small format, I downloaded it from his facebook page)

Oh oh......Chant.

As I lounged on the couch Friday evening attempting to take my pre midnight shift nap my cell phone chimed with an inbound text message causing me to separate my ass from the cushions to see what was up. It was an all point bulletin from the Maestro with an important update. It seems as though he volunteered our small schola to chant the propers at our Diocesan Divine Mercy Mass at the Cathedral this Sunday. Zoiks! Thus far our activity has been limited to a few hundred folks at Sunday Mass during Advent and Lent. This Mass is usually a capacity crowd of almost 1000. Should be interesting! I will try to post from the choir loft. Wish us luck, we are going to need it.

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Paying the Piper!

I am less than happy to report that my annual tithe to the swine in Washington has been completed. While I like to think that my monetary tribute to Uncle Sam was spent wisely (like maybe giving a nice bonus to those daring Navy Seals) I am sure that it was spent on midnight basketball, NPR or scotch and personal lubricants for Barney Frank. Sorry, would love to write more but I have to get to my second job. I hear Nancy Pelosi might want a boob job next year.

Snipers my Ass!

Don't you just love the way the media characterized the Seal Operation that ended the lives of three armed pirates? Article after article referred to them as "teens". Yes, teens armed with AK 47 rifles.

Anyway, from a friend of mine who is well versed in these matters, no way this was sniper fire. Close quarters combat from less than ten feet. No matter what the method suffice to say that my admiration for the US Military in general and the Navy Seals in particular is immense! God bless them and their patient families who wait for their safe return from service to our country.

Where do I turn myself in?

In fairness I understand that warnings issued by any government agency tend to be vague. Largely I suspect because they rarely get it right anyway. And in over twenty five years in law enforcement I don't think I ever saw any warning issued by the Feds be of any particular relevance outside of a wanted poster. So, had the recent warning about a surge in right wing radical activity passed across my desk I would not have paid it any particular attention. I mean, its just silly. But as I pondered the news stories over the last two days I found the story to be more relevant than any other government warning I had ever seen. Not that I suspect a surge in right wing violence. I don't. Frankly, we are all too busy working at least one job to support the anarchists and lefties who spend most of what should be productive time protesting. But I honestly am impressed that this is an early sign of the left recognizing that the Socialist Empire they so strongly desire is unattainable.

Lets face facts. At least one of the Socialist zealots in power must have a calculator and the ability to do simple addition and subtraction. Quite simply the mathematical realities of their plans are not adding up. The fresh air blowing in conservative camps that is blowing the stench of political apathy out to sea and the realities of their failed coup seems to be causing a palpable panic among Democratic circles. I am sure the Tea Parties that were held coast to coast did little to assuage their fears.

I can assure the Department of Homeland Security that they have nothing to fear from me except my ballot.

Fasten your seatbelts!

It was really great to read the accounts of the installation of Archbishop Timothy Dolan as the new Archbishop of New York. I don't think I have ever seen a happier guy in my life. But more to the point I think that he typifies the type of Bishop that the Church needs. Like an experienced wagon master of the old west he is brave, fearless and truthful and will be the kind of leader that will know instinctively when it is time to circle the wagons. The picture is from the Archdiocesan website. And just to give you a little taste of what the world has in store for it the following quote should give you some insight.
“Maybe the greatest threat to the church is not heresy, not dissent, not secularism, not even moral relativism, but this sanitized, feel-good, boutique, therapeutic spirituality that makes no demands, calls for no sacrifice, asks for no conversion, entails no battle against sin, but only soothes and affirms."
Congratulations Archbishop Dolan!

Sunday, April 12, 2009

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

And how was your night?

Beer + knives = job security

Stabbity stab....Stabbity Stab! pancreas!

Still have hope?

According to the online version of the LA Times this morning members of the US Congressional Black Caucus met with ailing Communist Dictator Fidel Castro in Havana to explore the normalization of relations between the US and Cuba. According to the article "The aging, ailing, cigar-smoking icon Fidel Castro had three members of Congress visit with him today in Havana, which resulted in the bearded one asking, "How can we help President Obama?" In an effort to improve the relationship between Cuba and the U.S., Reps. Barbara Lee (D-Oakland), Bobby L. Rush (D-Ill.) and Emanuel Cleaver II (D-Mo.) were the first U.S. officials to meet with the 82-year-old former dictator since his intestinal surgery in July 2006."

Great that one of the worlds last remaining throwbacks to Communist oppression is so enamored with our President that he wants to help us. Let us hope that the help he offers doesn't include his method of dealing with political dissent. Then again maybe he just wants to jet over to DC with Kim Jong Il for a little BBQ by the rose garden. I am sure its all very innocent. You can read the entire article here.

Monday, April 6, 2009

Three cheers for SPIKE!

In less than twenty four hours my buddy Spike will be graduating from the Federal Law Enforcement Training Center and will be sworn in as an ICE agent. I am sure its been horrible being away from the family for so long, and he has five weeks of intensive Spanish classes to go. Way to go SPIKE!

Lookout Louis Pasteur!

Have you ever wondered where all of the money spent in the US each year on medical research is spent? Cancer? Heart Disease? Diabetes? Nah! Courtesy of we find today that scientists have discovered why scratching feels so good.

Nobody knows just how scratching relieves itch. But the federally funded monkey study, reported Monday on the Web site of the journal Nature Neuroscience by Giesler and colleagues, takes a step in unraveling the mystery.
The scientists focused on a kind of spinal nerve that transmits the "itch" signal to the brain. These nerves reach into the brain from near the bottom of the rib cage.
The researchers sedated long-tailed macaques for the experiment and placed recording electrodes on their spinal nerves. They injected a chemical into the skin of a leg to produce itching. The nerves fired electrical signals in response.

If you can endure it the rest of the story can be found here.

EMS Provider CEU of the day

What is the difference between an adult diaper and a pre hospital DNR? There is no difference.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

How is my day going?

Dead man lying on a twin bed in a room where every horizontal surface was covered with feces. Any more questions?

Hmmmmmmmm, I wonder if I should post that on Facebook.


Another in a long line of cowardly pieces of human effluence has snuffed out the lives of police officers. This time in Pittsburgh, PA, three officers responding to a domestic dispute were gunned down by another pathetic loser who felt his rights were going to be infringed by the current administration. So three more families of honorable men will have to suffer. Why you ask. Let me give you a hint. More than one media outlet quoted the mother of this animal as yelling "what are you doing to my son?" as the police responded in force to the house after he committed these murders. Of course the suspect who proudly said to a friend in a pre rampage phone call "I am going to die today" did not fulfill that prophecy. Like all spineless cowards he surrendered.

Its very difficult to remain pro life in the face of events like these. Please join me in wishing him a long life as a debutante on a squalid cell block with predatory alpha males who will ensure he will have a tangible preview of what Hell will be like for him.

And in charity please remember in your prayers the souls of Eric Kelly, Stephen Mayhle and Paul Sciullo III. Eternal rest grant unto them O Lord, and may perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.

Dog, Cat or Goldfish?

Since I can remember pets have been a part of my life. While I have always been a "dog person" through various periods of my life I have had the experience of different domestic creatures sharing my space over the years. It occurs to me that everyone I have ever met can fit nicely in to one of three domestic animal types.

Dogs. Loyal, friendly, task oriented and just great to be around. A good dog will be a protector, companion and just someone cool to hang around with. Like a good friend you don't need to have much going on in the way of conversation. Task oriented creatures they are just happy being dogs. Loyal to the end.

Cats. Sneaky, needy fair weather friends. Often nice to your face and when you are not looking they will take a crap in your shoes just to show you how contemptible they find your very existence. If you die, they will eat your face.

Goldfish. Just happy to swim around in their own excrement until someone changes the water.

A noggin for bloggin

For some reason I have allowed myself to be sucked in to the great void. The CB radio of the twenty first century, Facebook. Not moments ago I found myself logging on to the creature to post inane updates about my "status". What the hell was I thinking. As I perused my "wall" I could not help but note the array of people included in my growing list of friends and the many gifts that each of them possess. Why the hell are we engaging in the endless litany of "at work....ho hum" and "off to (fill in the blank)"?

One thing I have always enjoyed about being in the Emergency Services is that all three services are populated by the most incredibly intellectual underachievers known to mankind. I mean, these folks are super smart, funny and well grounded in reality. Yet despite all of these gifts we are content to pass our time in inane drivel like Facebook. Social networking my Polish Ass! If you were to drop anyone of these guys in a cocktail party they could maneuver among the best of them. Yet for some reason they are content to just be.

Underachievers unite! Take a few minutes and set up a blog. Whether its history, politics, religion or BBQ you guys rock and have a great deal to share. Out of the fishbowl!

Sound Retreat!

Do you have the same list that I do? I am sure you do in some fashion. You know, the list of things you would really like to do if you did not have the responsibilities of job, family etc. One of the things on my list that has the most seniority was the desire to go on a retreat. Now, I am not you basic tambourine beating type of guy. Mine is more the quiet, contemplative approach to religion. But I have always felt that I could use a few days away from the daily grind for a bit of a recharge of the spiritual batteries. As providence would have it some weeks ago while walking in to Sunday Mass my Pastor told me to see him afterward as he had something for me. Little did I realize that I was about to be ambushed.

If you are "old school" like I am when a Priest asks you for a favor, no is not an option. So when faced with a brochure for an overnight retreat I immediately said yes and engaged in the great schedule shuffle to make it happen. How was it you ask?

Suffice to say I maintain my position that guitars and tambourines belong in Salvation Army Bands and Gypsy camps. I'll chalk this one up to experience and take it as a sign that I should not have "blown off" the idea of a retreat for so many years and begin my early search for next years retreat location. Trappist preserves anyone?