60 thousand dollar penis extension

Just the other day at about five thirty in the AM my partner and I were taking a patient from one hospital to another. Its a trip we often make and by and large an uneventful one. It was fairly warm here for October and due to a steady rain traffic was beginning to back up a bit. Nothing dramatic mind you just sensible folks driving sensibly.

On a routine transport such as this it is good practice to tuck the ambulance in the right lane and just cruise along comfortably. It makes for a smoother ride for the already sick patient and lessens the possibility of getting in to an unnecessary fender bender. Cruising with such leisure it gives you an opportunity to take in the sights.

Traffic in the left lane was moving at a fairly good clip and there was more than ample spacing between cars as they passed me on the left. That was until I spied it. The red Corvette tailgating the guy in front of him. Suddenly with the dexterity of an Indy driver the Corvette driver gunned the engine, executed a quick pass and wound up one entire car length ahead of where he was for the remaining ten minute trip to New Brunswick. Imagine the new found virility his investment brought him. Dumbass.

Want a baby? Pass the Cheetos

In modern life, evolution comes down to a question of fertility, not fitness.

According to a study by Yale University evolutionary biologist Stephen Stearns, contemporary evolution is based on the genetic traits surrounding fertility.

According to their findings, it was stout, slightly plump (but not obese) women who tended to have more children — "Women with very low body fat don't ovulate," Stearns explains — as did women with lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels. Using a sophisticated statistical analysis that controlled for any social or cultural factors that could impact childbearing, researchers determined that these characteristics were passed on genetically from mothers to daughters and granddaughters.

The rest here.

Yet more job security

Any member of the Emergency Services will tell you that stupid people are our bread and butter. If it weren't for people incapable of good judgment the demand for Police, Fire or EMS service would be greatly reduced. But sometimes stupidity unnecessarily puts resucers at risk.

FRESNO, Calif. — Last month two men and their teenage sons tackled one of the world's most unforgiving summertime hikes: the Grand Canyon's parched and searing Royal Arch Loop. Along with bedrolls and freeze-dried food, the inexperienced backpackers carried a personal locator beacon - just in case.

In the span of three days, the group pushed the panic button three times, mobilizing helicopters for dangerous, lifesaving rescues inside the steep canyon walls.

What was that emergency? The water they had found to quench their thirst "tasted salty."

If they had not been toting the device that works like Onstar for hikers, "we would have never attempted this hike," one of them said after the third rescue crew forced them to board their chopper. It's a growing problem facing the men and women who risk their lives when they believe others are in danger of losing theirs.

This is an easy one to cure. Immediate arrest for false public alarm and a bill for emergency services rendered when no emergency existed. Then again, that would result in accountability. With the current climate in Washington, we can't have that.

The rest here.

?

This one just blew my mind.

HINSDALE, Illinois, October 23, 2009 A Dominican nun has been seen frequenting an abortion facility in Illinois recently - but not, as one might expect, to pray for an end to abortion or to counsel women seeking abortions, but to volunteer as a clinic escort.

How is she still a nun? I just don't get it.

The entire story is here.

Things Catholic

I don't pretend to be an expert on my Faith. As a Vatican II baby and the product of a well intentioned yet dubious CCD program it has been a struggle the last few years to play catch up in the pursuit of a knowledge base that I feel is appropriate for a Catholic Adult. Where I can make time in a busy schedule I struggle with Latin, try to make important liturgical celebrations and just try to polish what has turned out to be a very unfinished piece of educational woodwork.

In this pursuit I have had the benefit of some very patient and learned clergy who take the time to teach their flocks and provide ongoing support for growth. Soon, Holy Mass will change somewhat with better translations that will result in the new English language version of the Mass. You would think this would be a welcome development. After all, as a Faith rich in tradition we should endeavor to stay as true to our roots as possible. Apparently in addition to being mistaken, I am also a bit dim.

WASHINGTON – Bishop Donald W. Trautman of Erie, Pa., former chairman of the U.S. bishops’ liturgy committee, sharply criticized what he called the “slavishly literal” translation into English of the new Roman Missal from the original Latin.

He said the “sacred language” used by translators “tends to be elitist and remote from everyday speech and frequently not understandable” and could lead to a “pastoral disaster.”

“The vast majority of God’s people in the assembly are not familiar with words of the new missal like ‘ineffable,’ ‘consubstantial,’ ‘incarnate,’ ‘inviolate,’ ‘oblation,’ ‘ignominy,’ ‘precursor,’ ‘suffused’ and ‘unvanquished.’ The vocabulary is not readily understandable by the average Catholic,” Bishop Trautman said.

Not to question the teaching authority of a Bishop but I had always understood that the primary responsibility of a Diocesan Ordinary is to TEACH. So in an instance where the vast majority of us pew sitters are not familiar with words of more than two syllables, should not the focus then be on uplifting the flock both spiritually and intellectually?

Touching back on Vatican II this is clearly a case of reaping what one sows. When a centuries old style of worship is removed willy nilly and dumbed down what does one expect? There are a great many commentaries on the web today both supporting and challenging Bishop Trautman's stance.

A basic tenant of gardening is that if the roots are week the plant will wither and die. It is time as Catholics to return to our roots (Brick by Brick as the de facto flying Bishop of the Internet Father Z would say) and ensure that they are healthy and capable of delivering the fragrant fruit of the Good News.

The rest of Bishop Trautman's comments here.

The Devil's work

Sad news today in New Jersey:

CHATHAM — The Morris County Prosecutor's Office says Father Edward Hinds was murdered in the rectory of St. Patrick Church in Chatham.
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Morris County Prosecutor Robert A. Bianchi said this afternoon that, based on the nature of the injuries, they have ruled the 61-year-old priest's death a homicide.

Hinds was found dead in the residence after a 911 call alerted police that the priest did not arrive at the neighboring church to offer a scheduled 8 a.m. Mass. Hinds was dressed in his robes for Mass when he was found.

Bianchi said Hinds was killed sometime between 11 p.m. Thursday and 8:03 a.m. today, when the 911 call was placed.

There are not many more details but the story is here. Killing a Priest who is already vested for Mass. It takes a special kind of evil to do something like this.

In your charity please send up a prayer for Father Hinds.

Green Acres Theology?

A North Carolina pastor plans to host a Halloween event at his church to burn heretical books. At the top of the list — the Bible.

Pastor Marc Grizzard claims the King James version of the Bible is the only true word of God, and that all other versions are "satanic" and "perversions" of God's word.

On Halloween night, Grizzard and the 14 members of the Amazing Grace Baptist Church will set fire to other versions of the scripture, as well as music and books by Christian authors.

“I believe the King James version is God’s preserved, inspired, inerrant, infallible word of God… for English-speaking people."

I guess he graduated from the Drucker's General Store theology program. Go here for the rest and to see a picture of the learned Pastor in his bib overalls.

How many ways do we have to say it?

NEW BRUNSWICK — An Edison man was shot late Wednesday night after stopping the would-be gunman on the street and asking him for a cigarette, police said.

Smoking is dangerous to your health. The rest here.

Boats of wood and balls of iron

As one of the planet's worst bagpipers I often receive requests to play at local events. Sadly due to a busy schedule I have to say no more often than I like. But as a matter of routine I will juggle my schedule dramatically to honor a request to play for a veterans group. Today was such an occasion when a multitude of Veterans organizations gathered in town to bring home three of their number.

As several hundred people watched our local Vets gave a fitting farewell to three comrades whose cremated remains had been stored unclaimed in a local funeral home. For whatever reason there were no remaining relatives to make final arrangements for these men. To the credit of the Vets they made arrangements for a splendid ceremony prior to the internment of the remains in the State Veteran's Cemetery.

While standing in formation next to the bugler I noticed that he wore a patch indicating his status as a PT Boat crewman on his jacket. As is my practice I thanked him for his bravery and service to our country. In true form he told me it was no big deal. But I persisted. Service to your country is the highest form of patriotism. Combat veterans are truly a breed set apart. And to serve your country in battle at sea on a plywood boat armed with torpedoes....well, that is just something I cannot even imagine. I think I may have embarrassed the old guy a bit with my description of his service. But his deeds validate the accuracy of the title of this post.

Yankees

Tonight's win is a foregone conclusion. I am just staying tuned to watch the Angels fans suffer.

How fast do these things go?

ORMOND BEACH, Fla. — Authorities say an Ormond Beach woman died after being thrown from a golf cart in a gated community.

Florida Highway Patrol reports that 58-year-old Carol Hollingworth was driving her golf cart through the Plantation Bay Golf Club community Thursday night when she lost control for some reason. She was thrown from the cart, which continued to roll into a wooded area.

What the hell? Does everyone move to Florida and lose their minds? The rest here.

Soup Season continues

As the weather here in New Jersey continues to get worse the need for large steaming vats of tasty soup has become more critical. As the supply from the last kitchen excursion was running low it was time to replenish. Sadly Mrs. Copper and I could not settle on a particular recipe so this visit to the stove delivered two new additions to the soup arsenal.

First for the lovely Mrs. there is stuffed pepper soup. Lean ground beef, nice chunks of green peppers simmered lovingly in a tomato based sauce.

For me, potato with jalapeno and sweet sausage. And of course a huge chunk of pumpernickel bread to go along with it.

For you history lovers out there

I found a reference to this story over at the Hermeneutic of Continuity and follow the link. After you read this little snip you will probably want to follow the link too for a bit of food for thought.

Eight Jesuit priests survived the searing hurricane of blast and gamma rays during the atomic bomb explosion in Hiroshima, Japan, in 1945. They were in a rectory only 8 blocks from the blinding center of the nuclear flash. Although everyone within a mile radius perished, all survived and they attribute their survival to the Rosary and living the Fatima message.
At 2:45 a.m. on August 6, 1945, a B-29 bomber took off from the island of Tinian to drop the first atomic bomb on Japan. At 8:15 a.m. the bomb exploded eight city blocks from the Jesuit Church of Our Lady's Assumption in Hiroshima. Half a million people were annihilated. However, the church and eight Jesuit fathers stationed there survived (four of the priests were Fathers Hugo Lassalle, Kleinsorge, Cieslik and Schiffer. According to the experts they "ought to be dead," being within a one-mile radius of the explosion. Nine days later on August 15, Feast of Our Lady's Assumption, U.S. forces were ordered to cease fire.

Seasonal affective disorder alert

Image from Wunderground.com. Drenching courtesy of the Almighty.

Here bunny bunny!

Renewable energy?

The bodies of thousands of rabbits culled every year from the parks in Stockholm’s Kungsholmen neighbourhood are being used to fuel a heating plant in central Sweden.

The decision to use Stockholm’s rabbit cadavers as bio energy to warm Swedes living in Värmland doesn't sit well with Stockholm-based animal rights activists.

“Those who support the culling of rabbits surely think it’s good to use the bodies for a good cause. But it feels like they’re trying to turn the animals into an industry rather than look at the main problem,” Anna Johannesson of Vilda kaniners värn (‘Society for the Protection of Wild Rabbits’) told the local Vårt Kungsholmen newspaper.

Every year, the city of Stockholm kills off thousands of rabbits in an effort to protect trees and shrubbery in the city’s extensive network of parks and green space.

The rest here.

Body bags must be cheaper

Do you find yourself if the Democratic controlled Congress really supports the troops?

Senators diverted $2.6 billion in funds in a defense spending bill to pet projects largely at the expense of accounts that pay for fuel, ammunition and training for U.S. troops, including those fighting wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, according to an analysis.

Among the 778 such projects, known as earmarks, packed into the bill: $25 million for a new World War II museum at the University of New Orleans and $20 million to launch an educational institute named after the late Sen. Edward M. Kennedy, Massachusetts Democrat.

The rest of this disgusting homage to liberal excess is here.

Uncle Joe

Each of us has had that relative that we are not too eager to identify as part of the family. A little kooky perhaps. Kind of like America's own Uncle Joe Biden.

As the Obama Administration engages in seemingly endless debate on how to proceed in Afghanistan our troops continue to be undermanned and at risk. American blood is being shed on a daily basis while our President and his ineffective whining socialist advisers meet privately and wring their hands over what to do in the war on terror. Yet still no definitive response from the White House.

Instead we see the American people being softened up by the mainstream media to accept what is another attempt to pander to the left. The logical front man....you guessed it, Uncle Joe.

I don't want to debate the merits of Joe Biden being a spokesman for anything. It is clearly a bad idea (unless he is destined to be spokes model for men's bras after his embarrassing Jersey Shore swimming suit photo from this summer [photo from TMZ.com}). War should be left to the professionals. The soldiers, sailors and airmen who put their life on the line every day are the only people equipped to make operational decisions.

Now, I am not forsaking the right and responsibility of the President to make foreign policy decisions. If he chooses to withdraw from Afghanistan so be it. I would loudly disagree with retreated from the battle against terror but it is certainly the Commander in Chief's prerogative to decide where and when the Armed Forces are committed to battle. But under no circumstances should the necessary tools to accomplish a mission be witheld from our troops. Never.

It is time to put up or shut up. Obama needs to make a decision now. And they need to lock Uncle Joe in the basement before he embarrasses us any more than he has already.

Good Seminar

My intrepid friend the Maestro will be offering a sacred music seminar here in the Diocese of Metuchen. In the hope that any of you interested in great church music might be inclined to attend I have posted the flier for the event.

May the appropriate authorities be inspired to ban guitars, tambourines and the dreaded farfisa organ from all Roman Catholic liturgies.

Souper Douper

So the year of soup continues. Tonight with a bold recipe for Creamy Garlic Soup.

First, a little garlic. About a cup and one half. Well, I won't bore you with all of the details. Suffice to say that this creamy extravagance of saffron laced goodness was a fitting end to the first almost chilly day of the season.

Here is what it looked like while bubbling away in the Dirty Copper Soup Cauldron. Potatoes, onions, salt, pepper, garlic, saffron and at the end a pint of half and half before being beaten in to submission with the immersion blender. Can't wait for lunch tomorrow. Must remember to pick up breath mints on the way.

Killer Smile

Ever wonder what the face of a killer looks like. A person who can kill fifteen human beings and still find a reason to smile. John Wayne Gacy? NO. Jeffrey Dahmer? Nope. How about Ted Bundy. Nah. Amateurs. This lovely young woman has killed fifteen people. What do you think of her?

A woman has admitted to being 'an abortion addict' after having 15 terminations over 17 years.

Irene Vilar said she had the abortions not from poverty or fear but as an extraordinary act of rebellion against her 'controlling' husband who did not want children.

What do you think of her now? Standard bearer of women's reproductive freedom? Hero to oppressed womanhood?

How about Pig? Another testament to nationalized health care.

Photo by Gary Issacs of the Daily Mail.

The rest here.

How to treat celebrities

It never ceases to amaze me how people engage in celebrity worship. Apparently this phenomena is not shared by all cultures. The video shows a spanish version of Punked where an up and coming actress is the victim. Inspiring.


Hot Chick Victim of Mean Prank - Watch more Breaks Biggest Winners

What do you feed a 180 LB 7 foot Dog?

Anything it wants.

CASSELTON, N.D. — Boomer may be a buster: Measuring 3 feet tall at the shoulders and 7 feet long from nose to destructive wagging tail, he might be the world's tallest living dog.

Owner Caryn Weber says her 3-year-old Landseer Newfoundland keeps all four paws on the floor when he drinks from the kitchen faucet in her family's eastern North Dakota farm house.

Boomer stares into car windows eye to eye with drivers. A 20-pound bag of dry dog food lasts the 180-pound canine a couple of weeks.

Unlike little yippy dogs who always seem to have something to prove the Newfoundland is the most gentle breed I have ever encountered. Thus the reason she is the official Dirty Copper Dog. The rest here.

Just take the stroke

BEAUFORT, S.C. — A 77-year-old man has lost his lower arm after he was bitten by an alligator on a coastal South Carolina golf course.

Multiple media outlets reported that the Fripp Island man was playing the Ocean Creek Golf Course about 3 p.m. Thursday when he was attacked. His name was not released.

Kate Hines with the Fripp Island Property Owners Association says the man was picking up his ball when a 10-foot alligator pulled him into a nearby pond.

How much does one golf ball cost for goodness sakes? The rest here.

The Good, the Bad and the Ukulele

Unless it turns in to a great commercial success the soundtrack to a movie is often forgotten as soon as you leave the theater. Here is a view behind the scenes of one very famous tune.



Thanks to Spicoli for sending me this one.

And in the kiss my Polish behind department

BANGKOK — There are plenty of needy countries at the U.N. climate talks in Bangkok that make the case they need financial assistance to adapt to the impacts of global warming. Then there are the Saudis.

Saudi Arabia has led a quiet campaign during these and other negotiations — demanding behind closed doors that oil-producing nations get special financial assistance if a new climate pact calls for substantial reductions in the use of fossil fuels.

The link.

The British are coming

Looks like our friends across the pond have figured it out.

David Cameron on Thursday blamed Britain’s economic crisis on a Labour-led era of “big government”, in a sombre and sometimes emotional speech aimed at convincing the nation he is a prime minister in waiting.

Mr Cameron warned that he was about to turn off the tap on public spending , and caused concern to some in the City when he said that “sometime soon” the country would have to stop “printing money” if it wanted to head off inflation.

Read about the UK's turn away from socialism here.

Just plain silly

Nobel's Law? Each inaction has the opposite disproportionate reaction?

OSLO -- President Barack Obama won the 2009 Nobel Peace Prize on Friday for "his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples," the Norwegian Nobel Committee said, citing his outreach to the Muslim world and attempts to curb nuclear proliferation.

Clearly the choices must have been between him, Bob Barker and that creepy guys who sits on the corner for a living.

The rest of this silliness can be found here.

Give Charlie a break

It isn't like he called a liar a liar or a similar high crime against the anointed one.

A day after Democrats shot down a measure to remove New York Rep. Charles Rangel from his powerful post as chairman of the House Ways and Means Committee, the Congressional Black Caucus sent a letter to Speaker Nancy Pelosi condemning what it called "partisan attempts to ignore the well-established, bipartisan congressional ethics process."

The rest here.

Defecit in diapers

Twirl of the nightstick to my friend the Hilltop Piper for sending me this one.

Uncle Milty

Grateful thanks to Angus for dropping this one in an email. I never did like Phil Donahue. He was always a bit over the top in his Liberal slant and had the worst hair I have ever seen, even by the standards of the 1970's. Anyway, here is a brief clip of Nobel Prize winning economist Milton Friedman bitch slapping Phil. It was really enjoyable to watch and is still relevant.

Yes

Birds of a feather

Looks like the real professional thieves in Washington finally have some competition.

Lured by easier money and shorter prison sentences, Mafia figures and other violent criminals are increasingly moving into Medicare fraud and spilling blood over what once a white-collar crime.

The rest here.

Stupid Bitch

I am sorry for the offensive title to the post. But frankly, I am fed up. I don't know if this Liberal knuckle dragger we have serving as Speaker of the House is stupid or just hell bent on ruining this country but enough is enough.

The root of my angst you ask?

A new value-added tax (VAT) is "on the table" to help the U.S. address its fiscal liabilities, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) said Monday night.

Pelosi, appearing on PBS's "The Charlie Rose Show" asserted that "it's fair to look at" the VAT as part of an overhaul of the nation's tax code.

"I would say, Put everything on the table and subject it to the scrutiny that it deserves," Pelosi told Rose when asked if the VAT has any appeal to her.

The VAT is a tax on manufacturers at each stage of production on the amount of value an additional producer adds to a product.

I am not an economist. I don't have to be to tell you that this one smells right out of the box. For Pete's sake you dumb ass, please pick up a basic Econ 101 text and read the part that says taxes will stunt the economy not make it grow. As long as this nitwit and the rest of her cabal attempt to shove failed Soviet Bloc economic policies down our throats we are screwed!!!

The rest of Nancy Peolosi's current manifestation of stupidity is detailed here. I humbly ask that all Conservative Dems, Independents and hypoxic Republicans kindly read the article and come to your senses. Please! I am asking really nice.

Time to reassess

Somehow this whole garden idea seemed much better in the spring than it does now.

Progress

WOODBRIDGE — If it were not for the men and women standing every morning in front of 228 Main St., you might not know the two-story Victorian house is a clinic that performs surgical abortions up to the 14th week of pregnancy.

Motorists will be seeing a lot of more these protesters this month as the international pro-life organization 40 Days For Life holds its 40-day, 24-hour vigil in front of the clinic from Sept. 26 to Nov. 1.

"Another good reason for praying is that the public sees us out there," she added. "A year or 10 years later they may remember people praying in front of the abortion clinic and that may change their mind."

And that, clinic manager Sabina Vasquez said, is what's happening.

"(The women) are embarrassed by them," she said. "One woman who was just here said she was very uncomfortable that the guy was shouting at her. To a lot of patients it changed their mind right away and they they never come back. It happens a lot."

The rest here.

Disturbing

Remember when you saw Grandma crocheting and you thought it was the most wholesome activity anyone could ever be involved in? All of those intricate and imaginative patterns. Now I am not so sure.

Elvis has left the building

And apparently this is what he was driving. Whilst sneaking to the rest area on the Garden State Parkway (the closest starbucks) I spied this "hoopty". I don't know if you can actually make it out but I can attest it does say ELVIS in big white letters in the opera window.

Point to ponder

If Roman Polanski was a Catholic Priest what would Hollywood celebutards be saying?

Wash me?

Isn't it frustrating when between running a bazillion errands some tool writes wash me on the dirty window of your car? It just really annoys your doesn't it. This should make up for it.

Nice lid

While on the daily blog crawl I found a link to a site that will nicely compliment early posts to The people of WalMart and Awkward family photos. Over at my favorite Friars place I caught a post about a site called Don't Judge My Hair.

For those of you with mullets or other ingenious hair follies in your past you may not find it as funny I did but do stop over and enjoy a laugh.

Souping it up

The long suffering Mrs. Copper has issued an edict. She announced that effective today, despite the fact that it is 75 degrees outside, soup season has officially begun. In fact she has declared 2009 the year of the soup.

In my never ending effort to satisfy every whim of my long suffering wife I prepared the ingredients above and combined them with some spiffy spices and they are currently simmering on the stove top.

I had hoped to boldly attempt a Puerto Rican/Polish fusion in this endeavor but it seems that my stash of dried mushrooms has gone missing.

Within the hour we will have the answer to the age old question. Is there such a thing as too much garlic in beef barley soup?

Fly the friendly skies

From Fox News.com:

Two pilots have been grounded after they allegedly left their cockpit mid-flight to trade punches with crew members in front of stunned passengers.

Severe turbulence broke out on the Air India flight after an air hostess accused the men of sexual harassment.

The 120 passengers watched as the pair left the jet controls to brawl in the aisle with the crew, the Times Of India reported.

Maybe they will debate the issue in the Indian Parliament.

A poke at the pretentious

How can you not like annoying the French?

Lovers of France's two great symbols of cultural exception – its haute cuisine and fine art – are aghast at plans to open a McDonald's restaurant and McCafé in the Louvre museum next month.

America's fast food temple is celebrating its 30th anniversary in France with a coup -the opening of its 1,142nd Gallic outlet a few yards from the entrance to the country's Mecca of high art and the world's most visited museum.

The rest here.

General intercessions

In my experience the more left leaning someone is the more virulent their anti-Christian sentiment. When a Christian has the audacity to expose silly secular ideals to the bright light of truth lefties have a tendency to get ugly. And when by extension a Catholic dare point out their moral objections to a policy, well....it is just downright nasty.

What is more puzzling to me however it their need to emulate all things Catholic. Case in point is this video of a group "praying" for President Obama to deliver them. It is a moment taken right out of any Sunday Mass. Except of course for the woman "clergy", support for abortion and a few other minor details.