Saturday, June 6, 2009

Mikey Chapstick

I have these two guys that work for me who are the best of friends. But like all good friends they have a propensity to bicker back and forth. To put that in the proper perspective you have to understand Cop humor. There is essentially only one rule. You never make fun of anyones kids. Aside from that, there are no limits. It is constant sarcasm punctuated by cut after cut of one liners. And if you have a distinguishing physical characteristic its even worse.

Several months ago the first blow was struck. "Mikey Chapstick" hit his nemesis "James 23rd" with a multimedia cell phone shot that made fun of his weight. Like a sniper the 23rd waited to take his shot. As Mike is having a huge BBQ tomorrow and has what some might consider a sizable pair of lips he decided to embrace a thematic approach to his return salvo. Thus, after the end of his shift he and several confederate (all of whom shall remain unidentified for fear of reprisal) deposited a large Chapstick on his front lawn. Did I forget to mention that it is made entirely of poured concrete with a core of rebar? Approximate weight is in the neighborhood of five hundred pounds. Safe be it will still be on the front lawn when the party guests begin to arrive.

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